Well everything is great in the 100-Acre Woods,
Pooh is eating honey and feelin' good

Now Christopher Robin's been gone for a while,
But he's coming back and that brings a smile

To Piglet's face as he looks up at the moon,
Waitin' for Christopher Robin he should be there soon

As he comes over the hill back from Europe
He looked just the same, just a little grown up.

...But little did Pooh suspect,
He didn't want friendship he just wanted to check
For food and money and a place to snooze
He's a speed-freakin' bum with nothin' to lose

His first destination was to Pooh's tree
Pooh went to the back to protect his honey
But he couldn't quite do it, Chris was too much
Pretty soon the floor was covered in fluff

He went and found Tigger at the thoughtful spot
He was drinkin' cold water, oh the day was hot
He cut off Tigger's tail and left him to die
The he went to Kanga's kitchen and made tail pie

(CHORUS)

Christopher Robin has gone crazy
Killin' all his best friends just to get money for his speed
I don't know what those Europeans did to him
But he sure ain't the same Christopher Robin

He'd already killed two friends and the others were afraid
But he was not done he still wanted to raid
Their houses for some food or cash
So he could buy a brick of hash

Or maybe some crank from his grandma
She's got the best damn tweak south of Arkansas
All he needs is a couple of lines
And he'll be doin' just fine

(CHORUS)